The Aftermath

Haven’t posted a blog for 2 weeks.  The reason for this is that the show that I mentioned in my previous blog really drained my energy levels.  So much so that I could not get up the enthusiasm for much last week at all.  Everything slipped a little.

And knowing I was letting things slip made me beat myself up even more, which then meant even less got done.  Vicious cycle that never ends really.

There are reasons for this severe lack of energy at times, and this is not a woe is me type blog, but I need to get it out there as to why I feel like this.  And what I am fighting against constantly.  I have hypothyroidism, I have a folic acid deficiency, I have a vitamin B deficiency, I have iron levels that are too high, I suffer with depression and I am probably insulin resistant.  Not much really, add into that the fact of my age and the probability of the pre-menopause affecting me as well (hot flushes are getting to be a regular occurence) then you can see why I have distinct lack of oomph every now and then.  

The problem is that the lack of everything makes me question and doubt myself for a few days.  Have I done the right thing becoming self employed?  Can I give enough of myself to make it a reasonable success?  Do I have it in me?  Are our finances going to stand up to this?  And those thoughts make the battle even worse.  

This week I came to a realisation – an epithany if you will – I am only human.  I can only do so much.  I need to take care of myself.  And if I don’t get everything done that I want to get done – don’t beat myself up over it.  Just wait out the lack of energy, it always comes back – eventually lol. Might seem a simple realisation, but it is one that gets forgotten at times like this.  

So far this week (bearing in mind it is only Wednesday!!) I have done more then I did last week, however I haven’t rushed it, I haven’t pushed it, when I have felt tired or needed a break, I have taken it.  I have switched off my laptop before my eyes start to ache with eye strain.  I am also fighting a nasty little head cold that reared its ugly head on Monday! (Which is what probably helped cause the low energy levels last week, with this little cold bug incubating away inside me!).

What am I trying to say with all this rambling?  

That everyone needs to take time for themselves.  That you need to listen to your body and your energy levels.  That you need to work with them not against them.  Working against them will just make the battle worse with more scarring lol.

Look after yourselves!

Nikki x

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