I don’t think I have ever admitted this fully before but I do suffer with anxiety, especially around going out on my own, using public transport, going to places I have never been and especially meeting people I do not know.
I didn’t use to suffer like this, and I really couldn’t tell you definitively where it all started. The first time I suffered a panic attack I was out shopping when I was about 7 months pregnant with my first. But I just put it down to pregnancy hormones etc. and never thought about it much. Gradually over the years, these attacks happened more often and although more pronounced whilst pregnant (imagine me sitting on the floor in Tescos not able to breath properly and getting more anxious by the second because everyone was looking at me with my last pregnancy) I still did not acknowledge that I had an actual problem.
Fast forward almost 4 years now, and I can no longer leave the house on my own, apart from a few instances. Those being collecting the children from school, going to the doctors or the local supermarket. Anything else I need to have my partner with me.
Public transport never used to be a problem either, I used to go to central London on my own using buses, trains and tubes etc. But now the thought of getting on any of them on my own fills me with dread. The same with going to places I am not sure of, or meeting people I have never met before.
Now the reason for this blog. Last Thursday I made a huge decision to confront several of these issues head on. I used public transport, on my own, and went to a cafe I had never been to, to meet some lovely ladies that I have never met before.
I not only stepped out of my comfort zone, I left it so far behind me it was but a distant spot on the horizon!
And do you know what happened? Did the world come to an end? Did I crumble into a quivering wreck of jelly? Did I become lost? Errrrrr….NO.
I had an amazing time, chatting and sharing with 4 other outstanding women. Did I feel I accomplished something – hell yeah. Did I enjoy myself – you bet! Will I do it again – YES YES YES!
I am not saying that I will always manage to confront this, but I am proud that I did it this time, and I will try my very best to work through it each and every time!
My message to you is to try and step out of your own comfort zone every now and again. You never know where it will take you.
Love and blessings
[ Photo by – Kristen Klein 2014 – Great Things Never Came From Comfort Zones – Flickr]